I busted the screen on my laptop and it's history. Before it goes in the bin I wanted to copy over some pictures and documents. Easy, huh?
Later that same day...
I've come across hundreds and hundreds of photographs. Many I haven't seen in years. Many I thought were gone forever. Many of them were downloaded from "those sites". That means men without clothes. Some of them doing things, some just standing there looking amazing.
Imagine the shock and surprise of someone you've loved drive up into the driveway just as you last saw them.
I found 80+ photos of my last partner, Greg. I believe that I'll never see him again in person. Now he's back through his pictures that I thought were gone. They were from the early years of our relationship, before things got insane. He's so handsome, muscular, blond and with a smile that goes clear across his face.
And there were pictures of men I've known and played with, men who have died.
In spite of the shock and surprise I'm left with feelings. Sadness. Loss. Emptiness.